Cupid's Puppet OLD
by skitzo krebstar
Summary: A peek into the mind of Jimmy and his constant struggle. A sequel of sorts to


Title : Cupid's Puppet  
Author : Whatever I'm going by now...  
Rating : PG  
Summary : A peek into Jimmy's mind and his constant struggle. Sequel of sorts to "Love or Destruction". You don't necessarily have to read it to get this one, however.  
  


~*~  
  


She's a self-centered, cold hearted woman who cares about nothing but a profit for herself. She never does anything unless it helps her in some way. If it benefits other people it doesn't matter, just as long as she gets what she comes for. She's tough, and beyond love. She doesn't need *anyone*, she can do everything on her own. Other people and feelings just get in her way.  
  
At least, that's what she wants everyone to think.  
  
I can see past all that, however. I don't know if she knows this, but I can. There's little moments where she comes out of that shell of hers to help others. Like when she saved my life, or how she'll help us out sometimes. And that time her tango partner died it was made obvious she isn't beyond love. She was in pain at that time. A lot of pain.   
  
I was in pain too, but not cause that guy died. It was because it was obvious she loved *him*, not me. I saw the way she looked at him as he died in her arms, like her whole world was dying along with him. Her eyes held the most pained look I'd ever seen and my heart broke along with hers.   
  
My mother once told me that love, true love, is so powerful that you can't have more than one true love in your life. She also told me that when a person is in love you can tell. It's in the air around them and in their eyes. As Yves was dancing with that guy I knew he was her love. Her step was different and I'll never forget those pained eyes. A lot of people say they'll never forget the look of a dead body, but those eyes will haunt me long after the image of that corpse melts away.....  
  
I guess what my mother forgot to mention is that sometimes you aren't the true love of *your* true love.  
  
Whenever I see her my heart breaks again, building the pain of life without her love. It's a constant, unyielding pain that will never go away as long as I live. As long as my heart beats it will break over and over and over again and soon all I'll be left with is dust, and even then it will keep beating and breaking, because Cupid will find a way to keep hurting me like he is.  
  
And Cupid will laugh as he watches me, his cruel joke bringing him great delight. I'm his favorite puppet to play with, my strings are worn with his use. Whenever Yves is around he rushes to pick up his favorite and giggles with anticipation.  
  
I'm tired of being a puppet, a toy. I want nothing more than to be free, but I don't want to lose my love for Yves. Oh, if only she loved me as well. Life would be so much easier.   
  
I can already see our life together. We'd only be dating for a month when we'd realize we want to spend our whole life together. I'd ask her to marry me while in a fancy restaurant and her eyes would go wide as she'd whisper as breathless "yes". We'd hug and tears of joy would attack our eyes. We'd wed shortly after that, a beautiful, elaborate wedding in England. I wouldn't be able to choose which of the guys would be my best man, so I'd have three best men. I'd finally know Yves' real name, not because she'd have to use her real name to get married, but because she'll *want* to tell me. Nine months after the wedding we'd have our first child, a girl. She'll look just like Yves and that's what we'll name her 'cause that's the name her mother was using when I fell in love with her. About two years after that we'll have a son, and we'll name him after me. We'll call him Little Jimmy though so it'll be easier to know who's calling who.   
  
And our life will be like a fairy tale. Little Jimmy and Little Yves will be brilliant, just like their mother, and we'll all love each other more than life itself. Things will be perfect in our lives because it'll come out of a perfect love.  
  
I think about the life we could have together and curse Cupid.   
  
How can one create a world of hell for someone when they can just as easily create one of perfection? I'll never have that perfect world....  
  
And so I dream about it. My dreams are my only escape. In them Yves, Little Yves, Little Jimmy, and I are all together, perfectly content.....  
  
And my heart beats and beats but never breaks.....  
  


~*~  
  
Fin  
  
Should these continue or has everyone had enough? ;)  



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